I've been debating getting into something like this for quite a while now. I don't really go on LJ anymore. Most of my long winded posts get either stuffed away in a folder on my computer (titled Never To See The Light of Day Unless I am Feeling Sad) or as note posts on facebook. I do plan on copying most of my notes from there onto here... and perhaps elaborating more... oh well.
Tonight's discussion is about... cycles.
I was thinking/remembering about the past today. I can tell you right now, I was not the emotionally stable person (snerk) you see today back in the day. No, I was young, and oh so very foolish.
There was a person... a guy. Who I loved and hated. Literally. We'd spend hours talking about everything under the sun, and those times were really nice. And then he'd say something to insult me. And I'd be in tears. and we'd stop talking...and then a few days/weeks/months later he'd pop back up again like nothing happened. And this would continue for six years.
In those years, I met/got together with my husband and... things started to change. I went through a rebirth of sorts. Away went the old crazy, and a new crazy emerged. One that would refuse to be manipulated or treated wrongly again.
I remember talking with this person once, back when we still talked. I said that it seemed we'd forever be landlocked in this vicious cycle. I could see no way out of it.
I am sure that there are new cycles I've found myself trapped in. I know that I get the S.A.D. (what a terrible acronym) or, as I like to call it, the wintertime blues... which pretty much ruins every day from thanksgiving until february, my birthday month. There is a brief respite during the week or so leading up to Yulemas but even then the depression fog is hard to pierce.
I'm not exactly sure which direction this was going... I was just feeling the need to write about the subject.
What about you, internet? Are there any cycles you've found yourself in? Do you wish to leave it behind for something better?
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